I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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