i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
