I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
