I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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