You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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