Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
This is the high leading the old right now
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
