my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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