If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Houston, we have a squirter
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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