I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
