addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
