Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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