Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
