i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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