I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
