STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
