yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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