I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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