Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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