Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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