Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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