this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
