My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
