my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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