...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
