do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
this beer tastes like vomit already
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
