So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
not ubering you a puppy
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
