Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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