just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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