i think i have herpe
just one?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
