My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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