Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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