I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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