next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
