oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
