cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize