umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize