White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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