Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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