Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
