You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
