More tranny stories later!
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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