She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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