I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
