And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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