I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
did i just pee glitter
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize