help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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