The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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