shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
