if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
