I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
