remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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