Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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