oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
