I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
