I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She needs sedatives and a leash
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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