Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
