i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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