I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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