I'm really into asian looking animals
What a fucking waste of an outfit
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
