Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
