no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
