i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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